Before I begin, understand that this blog is VERY random. I have a lot on my mind. There is no rhyme or reason to this. If you choose to keep reading, cool. If not, who cares?
Can it be that it was all so simple?
Nope. It never is. As much as you want it to be, it never truly is.
Understand this: just because YOU want it simple, doesn't mean that the people in your life wants it that way. Some people just love drama. It's who they are. Some people will purposely make things complicated just so that they can have drama. They love it. They crave it. They NEED it. And when you're around someone who's like that, you should just move around, right?
It's not that simple. When you've been around people for so long, or if you've been in a relationship for a while, you don't want to leave them on the side of the road. The question is this: how can you move forward to your destination if they need help all of the time? You can't. You have to let them figure out how to move on their own. It's not that you don't want for them to reach their destination, but you have to know that you have a different stop than they do. So you keep moving. And you will hurt. You will hurt because you want that person to move with you. And it's ok to hurt. But it's NOT ok to stay stuck in traffic, feel me? Your path is yours. Their path is theirs.
Another thing: I'll be 40 next April. I've either become extremely grouchy, or I can't deal with stupid shit. I have told several people not to even talk to me because you won't like my opinion. The minute that you say "what do you think I should do?", I'm going to tell you. You won't like my response. In fact, you'll probably hate it. NOT MY PROBLEM!!!! I've been side-eyeing people a lot. I'm trying not to ask "are you a fucking idiot??", because I swear that they are. When I walk away, people think that I'm being silly. I'm trying to save you from getting this work. My mouth is very fly, so it's best that I move around. Otherwise, you'll be upset with me...not that I care...but I'm just saying....
Recently, I've been judged on my past. I've done some shit that wasn't right. I've done shit that was downright stupid and selfish. If I even TOUCHED on the shit that I've done, most of you wouldn't talk to my ass anymore. But you know what??? IT'S MY SHIT!!!! I can own up to my mistakes...my past. And that's just what it is...MY PAST!!! My past has brought me to where I am today. The thing about my past is this: I can teach others from my mistakes. That's what you should know about Misty: I'm not going to speak on anything that I haven't gone through. My past has taught me who I was, who I am, and who I'm destined to be. But go ahead, keep judging. It's ok. I'm woman enough to know that I've pulled some bullshit stunts, but I've matured and overcome them all. The first step is admitting that you've done wrong. Hey...most folks can't do that shit though. *shrugs*
I recently asked God to do something. He's doing it. And the way that He did it really messed my head up. I'm listening though. I got You. I'm going to be wherever You lead me.
(Yes, I went from cussing to God. I'm being worked on. Shut up.)
There's so much shit that I want to say, but I don't. Yes, even I know how to shut the fuck up sometimes. I'll just look and smile. It's my filter. It's the way that I step back and say, "Say girl, you'd better leave that thought in your damn head!" Not too many people get to enjoy who I truly am, simply because people aren't brave enough to do so. I'm more than what you see on social media. I'm more than what you've heard about me. You wanna know about Misty, then ASK MISTY. Plain and simple.
By the way, I miss my kid. She's a good girl. Truth be known, I miss her little friends too. Those girls have their heads on straight. I pray that they stay that way.
This randomness has made my head hurt. I thought that this would make me feel better. It didn't. But it's out there now. Fuck it. Whatever. I'm going study.