Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Fantasy & Reality...Part 2

It's been a while since I've blogged. I've had a lot on my heart and mind, I just didn't know how to put it into words. I guess that I should start off by saying Happy New Year, but we're almost into the second month of the year. No sense in saying it now.

I've been revisiting some of my past blogs tonight, mainly because of a phone call that I received from someone today. The blog that I was searching for was titled "Fantasy & Reality". If you haven't read it, you can now. You may need it for the rest of this particular blog...

You know, there are some things that I've done in my life that I'm not proud of. I've always told my parents that I could never run for public office. I have some things out there. (I'll let your imaginations run wild.) My past past...or at least it should be. I think that certain people remember me for the things that I've done in my past...with them. The fact is that I did what I had to do to survive. Could I have called my family? Of course I could have. Did I want to? No. I wanted to do things by myself. 

But that is neither here nor there...

What I got asked for wasn't sex, but sexual in nature. I was speechless but not shocked, not coming from this particular person. Now, keep in mind that I've done nothing with this person in YEARS...which brings me back to the Fantasy & Reality thing. Somewhere along the line, I grew up. I matured. And, most importantly, I realized my worth. I'm not the same person that I was years ago. I'm not that woman. Truth be known, in certain areas of my life, I'm not the same woman that I was last year. (That may be another blog for another day.) So, for that person to say those things to me like I was that person way back when, I became insulted, and I let him know that I was. I received all kinds of apologies, but by that time, I was done. I wasn't ugly about it. I just said what I had to and moved on. 

You see, I've had to purge myself of negative energy. It was something necessary for MISTY. I stopped allowing negative energy INSIDE of me. You have to watch who you connect with physically. You never know what they have going on with them. You have to be extremely careful with that. I've become more selective in my "old age". Don't get me wrong, I DO crave that physical attention, but at the same time, I want MORE than that. I've got a lot of love to give, and I'm sure that someone is out there that is deserving of my love. BUT I'm not going to give my "honey comb hideout" to just anybody. I don't care if you can slang that meat better than a butcher, if I feel your negative energy, I'll keep my sweet fruits to myself. 

I'm stronger than I was in the past (at least I feel that  I'm different...mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. If you're looking for that GIRL from years ago, she's not here. If you're going to judge me on my past, that's fine. You can hold on to those old memories of me, when I was someone's fantasy. Just know that I don't have to allow you in my present...or my PRESENCE...

...and THAT is MY reality.